Abduction Prevention

Children cannot look after themselves, so we have to. There should be a program in every home and school that teaches children about safety and protection against abduction and exploitation. As a parent, you must take an active interest in your children. Listen to them, love them unconditionally and help build their self esteem. Remember that a child molester/murderer prefers lonely, unsupervised kids. Teach your children to be assertive in order to protect themselves against situations or actions that make them feel uncomfortable. Most important, make your home a place of trust and support that meets your child's needs.

The key to effectively teaching your child about safety is for you, the parent, to be educated. Your children look up to you and the more you know, the safer they will be.

Regardless of the warning to "stay away from strangers", many children are abducted and exploited every year. Why? Because PREDATORS ARE NOT ALWAYS STRANGERS and can be someone they know: the neighbor next door, a relative, a priest, scout leader, lawyer, doctor, dentist, farmer, policeman, store clerk, counselor, bus driver, mailman, ice cream truck driver, care provider or coach. Your child may even have daily contact with this person and you may not even know them.

Children do not understand the word "stranger". It misleads them into believing that they should stay away from people who look weird or dress funny. Because of this, it is better to teach your child to be aware of certain kinds of situations rather than certain kinds of individuals. 

Children can be raised to be friendly and polite, but assertive. CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO. If anyone asks them to do things that make them uncomfortable they can say NO. Teach them to TRUST their instincts. If something feels wrong it probably is. SAY NO!

Children can learn about how to protect themselves from the time they learn to talk. Teach them the facts early. Handle it matter-of-factly and teach it as another life skill. If they are taught properly, they will have no reason to be frightened. They will be confident and
assertive little people.

Child abduction is a scary thing to address. It may be hard to look into the eyes of innocence and teach them about something so terrible. Remember, it is better for you to teach them to be safe than for them to learn the hard way, by becoming a victim.

A child can reach adulthood without being a victim of a violent crime. You are a parent, and you have an obligation to arm your children with information that could very well save their lives. 

TIPS FOR PARENTS

Many parents ask, 'what can I do to protect my kids from abduction?'. There are a few simple things you need to know to effectively safeguard your child from abduction.

1. SUPERVISE YOUR CHILDREN! Most children who are abducted are in a situation where there is no parental supervision. There is not always safety in numbers. If you are not in a position to watch your children make them wait until you are. 

2. Stress PARENTAL PERMISSION. Teach your children that they need to always ask for your permission before leaving your home, a friend's home, accepting gifts or money, rides etc. Even when they are with a friend or relative have them call you and ask for permission to leave or  accept food. If they practice good habits in everyday life they are more likely to have good habits that will prevent them from falling for a lure.

3. KEEP ACCURATE RECORDS. It is amazing how many parents do not have current photographs of their children. If someone takes your child out without you, make sure they also have a photograph with them. Also keep their fingerprints, accurate description and photograph in a safe, accessible place. Update at least every six months (or more often if necessary).

4. KNOW your child's friends. Who are their parents? Where do they live?
Know names, phone numbers and addresses. 

5. Make it CLEAR to your child whose homes they are allowed to go into and play. 

6. TEACH your child their phone number and area code. TEACH them
their address, including street, town, state and country.

7. SHOW your child how to dial 9-1-1 and the operator. Practice if possible.

8. KNOW where your child is at all times. 

9. DON'T let your child go into a public restroom alone. Go into the restroom with them. Stores will gladly make sure a restroom of the opposite sex is clear so you can take your child inside. 

10. DON'T leave your child alone in the car, not even for one minute. Not only is this a health hazard, but it is an open invitation for someone to take your child.

11. DON'T put your child's name (first or last) on clothing, hats, backpacks, toys etc. A child responds to their name and a person using that name will automatically not be thought of as a stranger. 

12. DON'T leave your child wondering in the toy section of a store
or alone in a mall. If they do get lost or bothered have them go to a cashier for help.

13. TEACH your child that adults ask other adults for help, they don't ask kids.

14. TEACH your child not to take anything (money, toys, candy etc. from anyone without asking your permission first. Remember, predators are not always strangers, so they need to ALWAYS get your permission. Someone with good intentions will not mind you knowing about their gift. 

15. If your child has to walk to and from school PRACTICE with them.
Show them the route they should take and how to walk safely.

16. LISTEN when your child tells you that they don't want to be with someone. Find out why.

17. NOTICE if someone is paying undue attention to your child.

18. ENCOURAGE parent-child communication without being judgmental or critical. Make yourself available to your child. If you don't, they may not come to you when they need help. 

19. NEVER belittle any fear your child has, real or imaginary.

20. NEVER force your child to hug or kiss a relative or friend if
they don't want to.

21. TELL your children that if anything happens to them you will
look for them no matter how long it takes to find them.

22. SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. Practice good habits. Call when you will be
late; let your kids know where you are. They are watching you. 

ABOUT LURES - WHY THEY WORK

As a parent, you must teach your child about abduction. Many parents cannot bear to look at their children and talk to them about the fact that some adults like to hurt children. This is why the problem of missing and exploited children grows each year in this country. It is your responsibility as a parent to educate and protect your children, and if you fail to do so, you are raising potential victims. This makes you part of the problem, not part of the solution. Too many children have died or suffered a brutal assault because they were not taught the
skills to protect and defend themselves. Be a responsible parent and teach your child how to recognize and identify danger. Teach your child how to use their instincts. A little paranoia is better than having to identify your child's body.

Children have been the victims of child abuse and violence for thousands of years. It has only been within the last hundred years that people started to seriously identify crimes against children. Now there are laws against kidnapping and molesting children, but the predators have
not stopped. They are still using every trick in the book to entice children from the safety of their family and friends. Once the child is out of their safety zone, the predator is free to do whatever he wants.

Lures work because young children and teenagers do not recognize these actions as threatening. They work because they are normal and non-threatening. These predators are inventive and prey on the innocence and vulnerability of young children. These are the same children we have
taught to respect adults and be polite to them. 

The following lures are commonly used by child predators and molesters. This list is by no means complete. Predators are constantly thinking of new and different ways of enticing their victims. 
*Here the predator is referred to in the masculine sense, remember that women can also be predators.*

1. AFFECTION: Predators target lonely, self conscious or unhappy children. If he can make your child feel important and loved, your child is more likely to go with him and keep secrets for fear of losing their love and companionship. 

2. ASSISTANCE: Predators know that children are willing to help others and use this for their advantage. They will often ask for help in locating a lost pet, finding directions or carrying something to their vehicle.

3. AUTHORITY: Children are very trusting of people in uniforms. They need to be taught that a uniform does NOT always make the person a police officer, fire fighter etc. They have the right to ask for proper identification or to ask another adult they know and trust for help. 

4. COMPUTERS: Predators are using the Internet to meet children. They are able to lie about themselves in order to win a child's confidence. If they can get your child to give them their real name, address or phone number, the predator will have a map to your front door. Monitor your child's internet usage. Take advantage of available parental controls. Even monitor teenagers, they are just as likely to fall for the internet lure. 

5. DRUGS: Predators use drugs and alcohol to attract children and weaken their resistance. This makes them vulnerable to molestation or attack.

6. EMERGENCY: This lure is designed to prey on your child's emotions. The predator may tell your child you have been in an accident and are hurt. By doing this, the child becomes concerned for your safety and will let his/her guard down making them available to the predator.

7. GAMES: Games can be used to build your child's confidence, gain
their trust or make contact with the child. Video arcades and even games
in your home provide contact.

8. GLAMOUR: Ego building is very effective. A beauty contest, talent show or photo shoot can provide an opportunity for a predator to make contact with your child. 

9. COSTUMES: A super hero or clown costume may be all it takes for a predator to get close to your child. 

10. INJURY: A fake injury can be used to gain your child's sympathy and draw them close to the predator.

11. BRIBERY: Money or gifts are often used to buy a child's trust or confidence.

12. JOB: A job offer should be carefully checked out before accepted. Talk to the person who wants to give them a job. Babysitting is no exception. Check carefully before putting your child in a potentially dangerous situation.

13. PORNOGRAPHY: Children are curious about sex. Talk with them openly about it. Otherwise a predator can use this curiosity as a means to expose children to sexual acts for the purpose of videos or photographs.

14. THREATS: When all else fails, a predator will threaten a child with violence against their family or pets. This is done to gain control and silence a child or get the child to leave with them.

15. ICE CREAM VENDORS: Accompany your child to the ice cream truck.
This lure has been successfully used to abduct children.

PERSONAL INFORMATION TO KEEP ON FILE:

The following information should be kept current and in a safe place:

1. Child's full name
2. Nicknames
3. Social security number
4. Place of birth
5. Date of birth
6. Height
7. Weight
8. Hair color & style
9. Eye color
10. Glasses or contacts
11. Birthmarks, scars, tattoos & piercings
12. Broken bones
13. Braces or other dental work
14. Any other distinguishing features
15. Clothing and shoe size
16. Favorite hangouts
17. Names, addresses and numbers of friends
18. CURRENT PHOTOGRAPH

-This information should be kept current and in a safe, accessible place. 

-Always have a current photo of your child on hand. If your child is under age 7, update the photograph twice a year. If your child is over age 7, update the photograph annually. 

-Have your child fingerprinted annually between the ages of 2-7. 

-Include a few strands of hair, with roots, for DNA samples.

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD IS MISSING:

If you think your child is missing, act immediately. TIME IS CRUCIAL.
Most children who are abducted by strangers are killed within THREE
HOURS. Remember, the longer you wait, the greater the risk of
permanently losing your child.

1. AWAY FROM HOME: If your child disappears while you
are shopping, etc. notify the manager or security officer immediately.
Many stores have Code Adam in place which means they will secure the
store until your child is found. Find out if the stores you frequent use
Code Adam. If the store does not have this program check dressing rooms,
rest rooms and ask for the doors to be closed and patrons to be
monitored on their way in and out. 
2. AT HOME: Check inside and outside your house very
carefully. Check every room including closets, basements, attics,
garages, under beds and laundry etc. Check any place where your child
might get inside to hide or fall asleep. 
3. IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD: Contact your neighbors and ask
them to check around their homes and property for your child. Check any
short cuts or routes your child is known to take.
4. NOTIFY POLICE: If your child cannot be found in a
reasonable amount of time call the police. Provide them with the
information you have on file about your child. Ask the police to enter
your child into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC). This will
make it possible for police across the country to take action if your
child is located. Be sure to check the following day to make sure it was
done. 
5. ABDUCTION: If someone witnessed your child being
abducted, provide as much information as possible about the abductor to
the police. You will need to provide all possible information such as:
race, sex, age, height, weight, hair color, facial hair, distinguishing
marks, tattoos, clothing, color and make of vehicle, license plate of
the vehicle and state of registration.
6. RUNAWAY: If you suspect your child has runaway,
check to see if any extra clothing, special items, favorite toys, pets
or money were taken. If your child has access to a bank account, check
for recent withdrawals. Check diaries, notes or letters that might
indicate if they left with anyone. Go to their school, talk to teachers
and go through their locker. Check books, notebooks and notes for
information that might indicate why they ran away. If they have runaway
before, check where they previously have gone. 
a. Call your child's friends and parents
b. Visit their homes
c. Ask when they last saw your child
d. Find out if your child told their friends where they might go or who they might have left with
e. Ask if they know of anything unusual that may have caused your child to runaway
f. Keep track of the people you contacted and any details they provided

7. TAKE ACTION: The police will help, but it is up to
YOU to get the word out that your child is missing. Call the Heidi
Search Center (24 hour service) for help in making flyers or starting a
ground search (in abduction cases). Make a note of everywhere you have
put flyers and make sure to take them down once your child is home.  If
your child is still missing, check to see if any flyers have come down,
this may indicate they are in the area. 

NON-CUSTODIAL ABDUCTIONS

To prevent a non-custodial or parental abduction, make sure you obtain
legal primary physical custody (either temporary or permanent) of your
child. Your custody orders should be specific as to the time and days of
visitation. The local police and your child's school should have copies
of any restraining orders or court orders that may be in affect against
the other parent. 

Try not to interfere with your child's other parent's visitation rights unless it is beyond your control. Maintain a civil attitude with each other for the well being of your children.

Keep important facts on your child's other parent such as photograph, social security number, birth date, drivers license number, vehicle information (including license plate number) and the state of registration for the above documents. 

Stay on good terms with your former in laws or other relatives. They may be a big help in recovering your child.

If you think your child has been abducted by a non-custodial adult call the police. Provide them with copies of your custodial papers to verify your parental rights. 

Provide the information on your child that is described in "PERSONAL INFORMATION TO KEEP ON FILE". 

Give police as much information as possible on the possible abductor/non-custodial adult. 

Make sure police enter your child in the National Crime Information Center.

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